Gary Gygax, the co-creator of Dungeons & Dragons died yesterday. He was 69. Across the internet literally 1000s of gamers have been expressing their feelings at his passing with a mixture of sadness, shock and mellow contemplation.
As I noted in a previous entry, my friend Barron Vangor Toth - another games designer - has also died. Whilst I know Barron never saw the point of rpgs, I doubt even he would have put himself on the same level as Gygax.
And recently actor Heath Ledger died. Ledger will be the Joker in the upcoming Dark Knight film, the sequel to the highly successful Batman Begins franchise relaunch.
I have been watching how people have related to these three deaths on messageboards and how people are reacting. I think it says something about each one.
Ledger's death was met with shock and regret on my Squared Circle messageboard but quickly this shock was followed by calls of dramatics and hypocrisy from some members. No-one had ever met Ledger - they had only ever seen him in film - and hundreds of other people who may have lead more credible lifestyles died each day but were not mourned, so why him? Why take a knee at the alter of celebrity for this young death and ignore the others? Its a valid point I suppose but in the end it speaks to the link that we make in our minds with the people we see on the screen more than the people that may be living and dying around us.
Barron's death has been met with a number of tribute threads across the sites that he impacted - SQC, Team Canada Online, Gutshot etc. The Raw Deal related ones have been curious in the tone of their comments. Barron was an incendiary figure in Raw Deal and created a lot of enemies because of his style and manner. He was indeed, by some, 'hated' - in that horrendous internet exaggeration that really means 'annoys me' rather than 'I would stab him in the face rather than speak to him'. Therefore a number of the tributes have been cautious, guarded and balanced. Those that met him are able to seperate the Online BVT with the Offline BVT. Those that have not do not have that option. Only one poster on TCO has stood up and said 'the truth' (ie. you had nothing good to say about him when he was alive...) and he has been roundly lambasted. What I wonder here is whether this event has made people realise that messageboard communications are not cast-iron spoken contracts but rather interactions with a dash of drama, acting and impersonation? They are rife with overexaggeration, posturing and hyperbole and the reactions that people have to them are such as well.
Gygax has gone beyond that. Very few people knew Gygax but they knew his game and his legacy. It appears that the legacy is by far and away the most important thing in his case. Without Gygax there would not be a roleplaying hobby and by extension there would probably not be a CCG hobby, a LARP hobby, a Games Workshop hobby or a MMORPG hobby. His impact on world hobby culture has been immense and I was pleased to see that even the BBC acknowledged it, deep deep into its pages.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/blogs/technology/2008/03/farewell_gary_gygax_the_dungeo.html
I doubt there will be a Gygax backlash, not after all of the posts on the messageboards I have read. There would be a lynch mob.
I guess its really about legacy. Ledger left little legacy and what he did leave was a fleeting touch from a screen. Barron created an experience that cemented a community and despite his failings, his successes far outweighed that. Gygax was the Father of Gaming and without his inspiration the world would be a very different place today.
Watch a film, flop a card and roll a funny shaped dice and appreciate what people bring to us all - because you never know when they might not be here.
Neil
p.s. No more death posts, I promise!
p.p.s. Well, unless someone else of BotG importance dies!
Showing posts with label Raw Deal. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Raw Deal. Show all posts
Wednesday, March 05, 2008
Monday, March 03, 2008
Barron Vangor Toth R.I.P.
Over the weekend I discovered that my friend Barron had died of cancer, aged 34.
Barron was the co-creator of the Raw Deal CCG and was, for quite some times, essentially my 'boss' although it was a lot more complicated than that. We remained in communication for many years from my creation of Squared Circle to his seclusion during his battle with the disease.
I had to pleasure of meeting Barron four times when I was taken out to Wrestlemania to report the Raw Deal World Championships. There are many things that strike you about Barron. His size (he makes me small), his presence, his intellect, his force of personality, his beligerent attitude, his amazing self confidence for a man of his size and his sense of humour. I remember having long debates with him on wrestling, cards, comics, politics, Babylon 5 and the cultural differences between the US and the UK. I even taught him to swear in English so he could insult me correctly.
In his corner of the internet, and therefore the world, Barron was a provocative personality and earned himself as many enemies as he did friends. I have been proud to see however, tribute threads appearing on a number of websites and people putting their grudges aside to acknowledge the man who was the powerhouse behind the Raw Deal CCG.
My personal feelings on this are strange. I don't usually feel grief when people die. Even the death of my mother last year was met with a sort of stoic acceptance of reality. What I did realise at that time was that my immediate family was becoming radically smaller and smaller as the years passed, with only myself and my father remaining (and my wife and kids, obviously) and thus I combat a profound feeling of loneliness with an affirmation of the importance of my friends as an extended family.
This is the first time one of my friends has died since I was five years old. The world suddenly seems a little smaller, a little colder and a little bit more isolated.
Wherever you are now, BVT, I hope you and Canaan-Axl are happy and at peace and writing the great CCG in the sky.
Neil
Barron was the co-creator of the Raw Deal CCG and was, for quite some times, essentially my 'boss' although it was a lot more complicated than that. We remained in communication for many years from my creation of Squared Circle to his seclusion during his battle with the disease.
I had to pleasure of meeting Barron four times when I was taken out to Wrestlemania to report the Raw Deal World Championships. There are many things that strike you about Barron. His size (he makes me small), his presence, his intellect, his force of personality, his beligerent attitude, his amazing self confidence for a man of his size and his sense of humour. I remember having long debates with him on wrestling, cards, comics, politics, Babylon 5 and the cultural differences between the US and the UK. I even taught him to swear in English so he could insult me correctly.
In his corner of the internet, and therefore the world, Barron was a provocative personality and earned himself as many enemies as he did friends. I have been proud to see however, tribute threads appearing on a number of websites and people putting their grudges aside to acknowledge the man who was the powerhouse behind the Raw Deal CCG.
My personal feelings on this are strange. I don't usually feel grief when people die. Even the death of my mother last year was met with a sort of stoic acceptance of reality. What I did realise at that time was that my immediate family was becoming radically smaller and smaller as the years passed, with only myself and my father remaining (and my wife and kids, obviously) and thus I combat a profound feeling of loneliness with an affirmation of the importance of my friends as an extended family.
This is the first time one of my friends has died since I was five years old. The world suddenly seems a little smaller, a little colder and a little bit more isolated.
Wherever you are now, BVT, I hope you and Canaan-Axl are happy and at peace and writing the great CCG in the sky.
Neil
Sunday, February 03, 2008
The End of an Era
When I originally wrote this the title of this entry it had a question mark at the end. I think that represented a vague hope of some future in this enterprise. Reality would inform me that the question mark was delivering a falsehood. This weekend has been a very sad one for me as I see it as the all-but-certain end of an era.
Keen readers of this blog will know that I have been part of the Raw Deal CCG scene for many years and even after I stopped being actively involved in the management of the game I was still part of the community and I was still the owner of the community website. In the autumn Comic Images announced that the game would ending and after some weeks we decided that we would have one final event - One Last Match. That event happened this weekend in Newcastle. It was a great event. About thirty people arrived and played in a sealed deck tournament. I did rather well for a change. We ate some food, drank some beer, dished out some silly awards and then drank some more. And the next day some of them left and some of them played another CCG that might be a worthy successor to Raw Deal. I went down to that game and I said goodbye to everyone, but when I left I realised this really was goodbye.
When I think about a number of these people, today will probably be the last time I ever see them. A slack handful of us may bump into each other at conventions for other things, or look each other up if we are in town on business. Thanks to the wonders of Facebook we might never really lose touch but this is the last time we will see each other as a group. These are people I have known for years now and I have met up with them on a regular basis during that time. I've seen young lads grow into accomplished men. I've seen people pair up as couples, others get engaged and married. We've had children, we've travelled around the world and we've done great things together. But most of all we have grown up.
There's no room in my life anymore for collectible card games. I no longer have the time, the money or the independence to be able to pursue them on any sort of level. I've definitely had my fill of being a leader of a community and organising things on a massive scale. I don't want to carve a niche for myself by working as a volunteer for another company - hey, I'm making one of my own! My lifestyle has changed and I have different priorities now.
But it still doesn't make it any easier to know that barring a scant handful of lucky coincidences, thats it for all those people. God that sucks hard. No, not an easy weekend at all.
Keen readers of this blog will know that I have been part of the Raw Deal CCG scene for many years and even after I stopped being actively involved in the management of the game I was still part of the community and I was still the owner of the community website. In the autumn Comic Images announced that the game would ending and after some weeks we decided that we would have one final event - One Last Match. That event happened this weekend in Newcastle. It was a great event. About thirty people arrived and played in a sealed deck tournament. I did rather well for a change. We ate some food, drank some beer, dished out some silly awards and then drank some more. And the next day some of them left and some of them played another CCG that might be a worthy successor to Raw Deal. I went down to that game and I said goodbye to everyone, but when I left I realised this really was goodbye.
When I think about a number of these people, today will probably be the last time I ever see them. A slack handful of us may bump into each other at conventions for other things, or look each other up if we are in town on business. Thanks to the wonders of Facebook we might never really lose touch but this is the last time we will see each other as a group. These are people I have known for years now and I have met up with them on a regular basis during that time. I've seen young lads grow into accomplished men. I've seen people pair up as couples, others get engaged and married. We've had children, we've travelled around the world and we've done great things together. But most of all we have grown up.
There's no room in my life anymore for collectible card games. I no longer have the time, the money or the independence to be able to pursue them on any sort of level. I've definitely had my fill of being a leader of a community and organising things on a massive scale. I don't want to carve a niche for myself by working as a volunteer for another company - hey, I'm making one of my own! My lifestyle has changed and I have different priorities now.
But it still doesn't make it any easier to know that barring a scant handful of lucky coincidences, thats it for all those people. God that sucks hard. No, not an easy weekend at all.
Monday, January 01, 2007
2006: A Year In Review
What did the Queen call it? Anus Horriblus? Yeah, that just about sums it up. 2006 is a year that, if I was bothered with that sort of thing, I couldn't be eager enough to see the back of. In just about every aspect of my life, it has, to be brutally honest, been shit.
Personally I've lost not one or two but THREE members of my family, including my mother, all in relatively quick succession. I'm not a very sentimental person but thats taken quite a toll on me. Work has been Hell - the students union has no money to invest and therefore cannot compete with the local bars and the University is effectively holding our jobs to ransom. This is the third year where we have had to undergo 'restruturing' - ie. voluntary and involuntary redundancy - as well as a pay freeze. Job security is paramount for me and it simply isn't there anymore. Health wise, things haven't been too great either, with my increasing workload causing me a degree of exhaustion and stress I have never had to face before.
This malaise has seen the deterioration of my hobby life to a far more manageable level. Some of the things that have happened have been really quite heartbreaking, others have been more of a relief.
I've relinquished my chair as the Iron DM and haven't refereed an RPG for many months. Thankfully Nigel has stepped in with a magnificent game of Pendragon which seems to have captivated most of us and seems set to run and run. Do I miss being in the DMs chair? No, not really. I enjoy playing and it is something that I have really missed.
I've also wrapped up my small website management empire - no more developmental ventures, no more involvement with Comic Images, no more little sidelines for friends. This manifested itself twofold - in the first instance by quest for perfection meant that I was spending a lot of time pottering around doing websites when I could have been doing other things. In the second instance I did not have the time, understanding or inclination to learn, to do the special coding things that could make my sites look even passingly professional - and in the gaming market that meant running a constant risk of being upstaged by the audience, bright young things that they are. So, it stopped.
The disassociation with Comic Images and Raw Deal was something that was coming for a while, but in the end the impact is only really starting to tell now. As the WWE buzz about Wrestlemania beings to build I've suddenly realised that I won't be going this year. In a pretty mundane life, having a trip to the US every year was a highlight. No more highlights. I haven't played Raw Deal for months now and I have really lost close contact with a huge number of my friends. I'm in the process of selling off my old RD stuff.
World of Warcraft has been a constant companion this year, but even that has not been smooth sailing, not by any way, shape or form. Whether it is the constant postponement of the Burning Crusade expansion or the time pressures of playing 'seriously' on my life, it has always been a niggle. And then there was the great sundering of the Dungeoneers and the feelings of betrayal and anger that went along with that. My new guild, If In Doubt AFK Out, is great but it will never been the great masterpiece that the Dungs could have been.
Creatively I have started writing again, but what started as a torrent of fanfic involvement has turned into a trickle as it always seems to be the last priority on the list. I have even tried to get involved in an online modern fantasy RPG but I am still to make my first contribution - time, as always being the factor that is key.
So generally, 2006 has been a year that has stripped everything back to the bare minimum. What does 2007 hold for me? What good things have come from 2006 that I can carry forward?
Well, the aforementioned The Burning Crusade expansion for WoW should give that hobby a new spark of life (or, in the glass half empty world, kill it dead). Already the Silvermoon server is undergoing a palpable change in attitude and action in preperation for the new aspects of the game. I'm sure the AFKrs will be front and centre when the Dark Portal opens on the 16th January!
Raw Deal Revolution is a new, stripped down version of Raw Deal that I have bought into a little bit. It seems like a canny little game and Chris Henderson, the manager in Middlesborough will be running Revo only tournaments so I will probably be attending. Hell, the next national PPV might well be called Homecoming because me and Steve Hassall are apparently coming out of retirement. It's not really about the game, it's about having a close circle of friends. I just hope I have the time to satisfy this particular aspect of my gaming life.
I sincerely hope that we carry on Pendragon to it's natural conclusion. The game so far has been a slow, atmospheric build-up with some very effective moments delivered with great subtlety. The one thing it does allow, in the most part, is one player to be missing - a change which has allowed us to game far more frequently.
Within the world of RPGs I want to experiment more with some of the smaller 'indie' systems to see other aspects of gaming. I also want to carry on the development of my own RPG. The first draft has been made but the initial playtesting has floundered rather disappointingly. You would have thought that with nine groups onboard someone would have at least made one comment? Ah well - I'll get it sorted eventually.
However, the real challenges for this year will be away from the computer or the gaming table. Dealing with my new, radically reduced family and the different interactions that this will bring. Managing my workload and eventually finding a new job because I cannot continue working where I am now. Dealing with my erratic energy levels and the health of the other members of my family. Being a good father and helping my two girls develop further.
All of this and remaining true to myself and not letting the mundane overwhelm the interesting and the inspirational.
Goodbye 2006, you were a steaming bag of shite. Hello 2007, you can't get mush worse!
Neil
Personally I've lost not one or two but THREE members of my family, including my mother, all in relatively quick succession. I'm not a very sentimental person but thats taken quite a toll on me. Work has been Hell - the students union has no money to invest and therefore cannot compete with the local bars and the University is effectively holding our jobs to ransom. This is the third year where we have had to undergo 'restruturing' - ie. voluntary and involuntary redundancy - as well as a pay freeze. Job security is paramount for me and it simply isn't there anymore. Health wise, things haven't been too great either, with my increasing workload causing me a degree of exhaustion and stress I have never had to face before.
This malaise has seen the deterioration of my hobby life to a far more manageable level. Some of the things that have happened have been really quite heartbreaking, others have been more of a relief.
I've relinquished my chair as the Iron DM and haven't refereed an RPG for many months. Thankfully Nigel has stepped in with a magnificent game of Pendragon which seems to have captivated most of us and seems set to run and run. Do I miss being in the DMs chair? No, not really. I enjoy playing and it is something that I have really missed.
I've also wrapped up my small website management empire - no more developmental ventures, no more involvement with Comic Images, no more little sidelines for friends. This manifested itself twofold - in the first instance by quest for perfection meant that I was spending a lot of time pottering around doing websites when I could have been doing other things. In the second instance I did not have the time, understanding or inclination to learn, to do the special coding things that could make my sites look even passingly professional - and in the gaming market that meant running a constant risk of being upstaged by the audience, bright young things that they are. So, it stopped.
The disassociation with Comic Images and Raw Deal was something that was coming for a while, but in the end the impact is only really starting to tell now. As the WWE buzz about Wrestlemania beings to build I've suddenly realised that I won't be going this year. In a pretty mundane life, having a trip to the US every year was a highlight. No more highlights. I haven't played Raw Deal for months now and I have really lost close contact with a huge number of my friends. I'm in the process of selling off my old RD stuff.
World of Warcraft has been a constant companion this year, but even that has not been smooth sailing, not by any way, shape or form. Whether it is the constant postponement of the Burning Crusade expansion or the time pressures of playing 'seriously' on my life, it has always been a niggle. And then there was the great sundering of the Dungeoneers and the feelings of betrayal and anger that went along with that. My new guild, If In Doubt AFK Out, is great but it will never been the great masterpiece that the Dungs could have been.
Creatively I have started writing again, but what started as a torrent of fanfic involvement has turned into a trickle as it always seems to be the last priority on the list. I have even tried to get involved in an online modern fantasy RPG but I am still to make my first contribution - time, as always being the factor that is key.
So generally, 2006 has been a year that has stripped everything back to the bare minimum. What does 2007 hold for me? What good things have come from 2006 that I can carry forward?
Well, the aforementioned The Burning Crusade expansion for WoW should give that hobby a new spark of life (or, in the glass half empty world, kill it dead). Already the Silvermoon server is undergoing a palpable change in attitude and action in preperation for the new aspects of the game. I'm sure the AFKrs will be front and centre when the Dark Portal opens on the 16th January!
Raw Deal Revolution is a new, stripped down version of Raw Deal that I have bought into a little bit. It seems like a canny little game and Chris Henderson, the manager in Middlesborough will be running Revo only tournaments so I will probably be attending. Hell, the next national PPV might well be called Homecoming because me and Steve Hassall are apparently coming out of retirement. It's not really about the game, it's about having a close circle of friends. I just hope I have the time to satisfy this particular aspect of my gaming life.
I sincerely hope that we carry on Pendragon to it's natural conclusion. The game so far has been a slow, atmospheric build-up with some very effective moments delivered with great subtlety. The one thing it does allow, in the most part, is one player to be missing - a change which has allowed us to game far more frequently.
Within the world of RPGs I want to experiment more with some of the smaller 'indie' systems to see other aspects of gaming. I also want to carry on the development of my own RPG. The first draft has been made but the initial playtesting has floundered rather disappointingly. You would have thought that with nine groups onboard someone would have at least made one comment? Ah well - I'll get it sorted eventually.
However, the real challenges for this year will be away from the computer or the gaming table. Dealing with my new, radically reduced family and the different interactions that this will bring. Managing my workload and eventually finding a new job because I cannot continue working where I am now. Dealing with my erratic energy levels and the health of the other members of my family. Being a good father and helping my two girls develop further.
All of this and remaining true to myself and not letting the mundane overwhelm the interesting and the inspirational.
Goodbye 2006, you were a steaming bag of shite. Hello 2007, you can't get mush worse!
Neil
Monday, November 27, 2006
One Year Later
As I was standing in the middle of the Academy last night, listening to the Wonder Stuff, I realised that it was roughly a year since I started my blogging exploits and my exploration of my various gaming hobbies. With that in mind, I thought it would be cute to examine where each of them is ... one year later!
Collectible Card Games?
DEAD as a dead thing from dead land. The WoW CCG passed me by with barely a whimper. The new iteration of Raw Deal looks interesting but without a group to play with and with limited time the likelihood of me rekindling the glory days seems to have passed. If there was a major casualty of the last year, it was CCGs.
Roleplaying?
Growing from strength to strength really. Have one game that has been played steadily for a while now (Pendragon). Have the embers of a 'fill in week' group that could well be doing Burning Wheel. I'm also starting a little rp project with my girls which could be fun or a disaster. Hey, and then there is my fledgling RP game which is currently in the very first stages of playtest. Loads of RP stuff going on.
Comics?
Still reading them, still enjoying them. No real change. Actually there has been an associated change in that I have started reading novels again, which waned a little for a while. Lots of input into the old grey matter.
Fanfiction?
Oh, big changes there! Rather than being the hobby that I aspire to, it's one that I am not actively involved in again. So I'm writing for the DCInfinity site with Green Lantern and Zatanna and it's a whole lot of fun. There seems to be the old inversely proportional relationship between my RP exploits and my fanfic exploits going on at the minute - some things never change really.
World of Warcraft?
Well, I'm still playing it but a lot of the enthusiasm has waned since the schism that shattered the quiet fun house that was the Dungeoneers. I'm once again at an impasse with it. I like playing it, but I'm going to have to pay it a little more attention if I am going to get the most from The Burning Crusade and I'm not sure I want to pay it more attention. Strange.
Anyway, thats about it really. Certainly things have stabalised a little with the removal of the CCG side of things and the retirement of my website empire. However, I'm always a builder so who knows what might be around the corner?
Neil
Collectible Card Games?
DEAD as a dead thing from dead land. The WoW CCG passed me by with barely a whimper. The new iteration of Raw Deal looks interesting but without a group to play with and with limited time the likelihood of me rekindling the glory days seems to have passed. If there was a major casualty of the last year, it was CCGs.
Roleplaying?
Growing from strength to strength really. Have one game that has been played steadily for a while now (Pendragon). Have the embers of a 'fill in week' group that could well be doing Burning Wheel. I'm also starting a little rp project with my girls which could be fun or a disaster. Hey, and then there is my fledgling RP game which is currently in the very first stages of playtest. Loads of RP stuff going on.
Comics?
Still reading them, still enjoying them. No real change. Actually there has been an associated change in that I have started reading novels again, which waned a little for a while. Lots of input into the old grey matter.
Fanfiction?
Oh, big changes there! Rather than being the hobby that I aspire to, it's one that I am not actively involved in again. So I'm writing for the DCInfinity site with Green Lantern and Zatanna and it's a whole lot of fun. There seems to be the old inversely proportional relationship between my RP exploits and my fanfic exploits going on at the minute - some things never change really.
World of Warcraft?
Well, I'm still playing it but a lot of the enthusiasm has waned since the schism that shattered the quiet fun house that was the Dungeoneers. I'm once again at an impasse with it. I like playing it, but I'm going to have to pay it a little more attention if I am going to get the most from The Burning Crusade and I'm not sure I want to pay it more attention. Strange.
Anyway, thats about it really. Certainly things have stabalised a little with the removal of the CCG side of things and the retirement of my website empire. However, I'm always a builder so who knows what might be around the corner?
Neil
Friday, November 03, 2006
Talkin' bout a Revolution (Part One)
Two posts, two subjects - one applicable title! Thats Value!
Regardless of my fervour in avoiding them, I keep getting dragged back to CCGs. Whether it is an underlying need to participate in some form of collective competition, an addiction to collecting or simply a desire to be closer to a massive group of friends around the world, they always pop up now and again.
The WoW CCG has been released and it is very simple, very smooth and looks very nice. This, essentially, is the local game if it is anything and my participation would be reliant on the guys down the pub buying into it as well. I'm not sure they will, because a lot of them have dumped out of the CCG game in favour of the MMORPG world totally. It's still a tantalising prospect - getting in one the ground floor of something new and exciting. Possibly meeting new players as well. The one deciding factor could well be the expense - £2.99 a booster is too much in my beer-economics view of the world.
And then there is Revolution.
The new incarnation of Raw Deal is coming for Christmas and it is wonderful. Through my previous associations with Comic Images, I have been privy to a full set of the final spoilers and I have to say that the reimagining of the game is spectacular. It's like a reset to Premier with five years of experience and design heaped into the mix. The game promises to be MUCH faster, have far fewer dull negative play experiences (the new mechanics make mono-decks and pure control decks almost impossible to achieve), smaller quicker tournaments, better prizes and some engaging new deck construction techniques.
And the reason why this game doesn't fall foul of the 'local players needed' problem? Well, there are some nearby players in Middlesborough and Scarborough and York. Thats relatively near obviously, but I'm a big lad, I can travel. And this morning I received the great news that the Middlesborough manager has decided to run Revolution-only tournaments. That buys me in, in all probability.
The overriding stipulation for my participation however will be fun over involvement. Controlling my urge to help out, get involved or any other sort of organisation has to be kept under control. A year ago, I was pretty much at the centre of all things Raw Deal and it consumed my life and spare time. I can't afford to let that happen again. Of course, that means I may have to actually BUY cards - a new and scary prospect if ever there was one....
We shall see what comes around (see the revolution motif? hehehe)
Neil
Regardless of my fervour in avoiding them, I keep getting dragged back to CCGs. Whether it is an underlying need to participate in some form of collective competition, an addiction to collecting or simply a desire to be closer to a massive group of friends around the world, they always pop up now and again.
The WoW CCG has been released and it is very simple, very smooth and looks very nice. This, essentially, is the local game if it is anything and my participation would be reliant on the guys down the pub buying into it as well. I'm not sure they will, because a lot of them have dumped out of the CCG game in favour of the MMORPG world totally. It's still a tantalising prospect - getting in one the ground floor of something new and exciting. Possibly meeting new players as well. The one deciding factor could well be the expense - £2.99 a booster is too much in my beer-economics view of the world.
And then there is Revolution.
The new incarnation of Raw Deal is coming for Christmas and it is wonderful. Through my previous associations with Comic Images, I have been privy to a full set of the final spoilers and I have to say that the reimagining of the game is spectacular. It's like a reset to Premier with five years of experience and design heaped into the mix. The game promises to be MUCH faster, have far fewer dull negative play experiences (the new mechanics make mono-decks and pure control decks almost impossible to achieve), smaller quicker tournaments, better prizes and some engaging new deck construction techniques.
And the reason why this game doesn't fall foul of the 'local players needed' problem? Well, there are some nearby players in Middlesborough and Scarborough and York. Thats relatively near obviously, but I'm a big lad, I can travel. And this morning I received the great news that the Middlesborough manager has decided to run Revolution-only tournaments. That buys me in, in all probability.
The overriding stipulation for my participation however will be fun over involvement. Controlling my urge to help out, get involved or any other sort of organisation has to be kept under control. A year ago, I was pretty much at the centre of all things Raw Deal and it consumed my life and spare time. I can't afford to let that happen again. Of course, that means I may have to actually BUY cards - a new and scary prospect if ever there was one....
We shall see what comes around (see the revolution motif? hehehe)
Neil
Sunday, April 23, 2006
There's Nowt as Funny as Folk
I realised something this weekend, that has really caused me to cast some of the decisions I have made in this little experiment in a different light. See, I was under the impression that my increasing despair with the state of some of my hobbies was to do with disenchantment, time management and clashes of priority. The one thing I missed was the madness that is 'other people'
I've been away playing Raw Deal this weekend in Glasgow. OK, the RD is really just an excuse to see some friends, have a drink and get out of the house when Mrs Gow and the kids are away with the in-laws. It was awesome to see the guys (and gals) again and even though I didn't perform too well in the tournament, I had a good laugh. However, in the background, a drama was unfolding...
The UK Nationals are approaching and the venue for the nationals is always controversial. Generally, it should be central and big. This year, Reading was earmarked. Not really central but the player base of the game is skewed somewhat to the south so it's not insane to do so - and the southern players deserve a PPV. Now the manager from that area has known this for months, but like anyone else, he left the organisation of the venue to the last minute and then found out that it wasn't suitable. Now, there are a lot of people who are wanting to know when the event is happening - holidays need booking etc. and a new card set is imminent, which causes complications as well. Also, it cannot be too late as it causes a 'log jam' of PPV dates which can cause chaos. So, my successor as Commissioner, after chatting to me, approached a different venue in Shrewsbury who organised themselves in under one day. Good yeah?
Nope. The Reading Manager tendered his resignation (which was refused, because he really was being a drama queen) because he had let down the Raw Deal community. And then the manager from Southampton resigned because he saw the emergency change as a slur upon the southern players. Why wasn't anyone consulted? Why wasn't it put in Southampton? The fact that the Teams event later in the year has been rescheduled to Reading/Southampton (hardly twinned cities..) and another one is in Cardiff (a similarly deemed 'southern' venue) is apparently null and void.
Whether he is right or not, the entire thing has embroiled a number of people in long and heated conversations. Entire plans and counter plans have been talked about. Conspiracy theories, claims, rebuttals - oh for fucks sake guys, it's just a bloody card game! Stop being so bloody damned melodramatic. Nobody actually gives a flying fuck whether you resign or not, where the venue for a tournament is, or whether a group of self-appointed organisers are, or are not, consulted.
And this is the sort of small minded shennanagins that I have been living with for the last four years. Everyone double guessing everyone else about their ways of doing things, what the real meaning is behind what they are saying - it's really quite pathetic. Hell, the new Commissioner was asking me what sort of things he should and should not say to the creator of the game in order to curry favour with him because said creator is notoriously ... difficult! Duplicity, double talk and drama. Hell, Vince McMahon should really just hire these guys to write Smackdown! and it would be better.
Now, this is rather similar to the situation I had with the Dungeoneers. A lot of people getting very hot under the collar about the stupidest of minor things in a computer game. The mind boggles, I know...but the atmosphere was such that I really just found it easier not to be there. So I posted up a note on our site saying that I would relieve myself of the bankers duties in the guild.
So what do I get? A mail from the guildmaster - a guy I have known for years - 'hoping that we can still be friends..'. I mean, what in the blue fucking hell of shite made him think that because I didn't want to be an active part of his guild, it meant that we wouldn't be able to be friends! The week beforehand he was suggesting that his son and my daughters should spend some time together during the holidays. It's madness - utter utter madness.
To be honest, I'm glad I'm out of it. It's hard - I still have a lot of attachment to these things - especially the Raw Deal 'scene' - and when things are nasty, they hurt. These people are my friends. However, there are so many more important things in life. Whether it is the care and upbringing of family and children, participating in other socially valuable activities or simply appreciating that there are people in this world that don't know if they will be alive tomorrow - and we argue about what voice comms server we use?
My shining light through this is my roleplaying group. We missed one player last week, so we sat around and chatted about...stuff. And the conversation became, at times, 'heated' - but in the way that people who are totally assured of their actions in the presence of their friends can be. No-one taking umbrage at disagreements, no-one leaving the gaming group because of a difference of opinion. All people, I believe, who have some degree of grasp on their life's priorities. Sanity, amidst the madness.
I think I shall steer towards the sanity
Neil
I've been away playing Raw Deal this weekend in Glasgow. OK, the RD is really just an excuse to see some friends, have a drink and get out of the house when Mrs Gow and the kids are away with the in-laws. It was awesome to see the guys (and gals) again and even though I didn't perform too well in the tournament, I had a good laugh. However, in the background, a drama was unfolding...
The UK Nationals are approaching and the venue for the nationals is always controversial. Generally, it should be central and big. This year, Reading was earmarked. Not really central but the player base of the game is skewed somewhat to the south so it's not insane to do so - and the southern players deserve a PPV. Now the manager from that area has known this for months, but like anyone else, he left the organisation of the venue to the last minute and then found out that it wasn't suitable. Now, there are a lot of people who are wanting to know when the event is happening - holidays need booking etc. and a new card set is imminent, which causes complications as well. Also, it cannot be too late as it causes a 'log jam' of PPV dates which can cause chaos. So, my successor as Commissioner, after chatting to me, approached a different venue in Shrewsbury who organised themselves in under one day. Good yeah?
Nope. The Reading Manager tendered his resignation (which was refused, because he really was being a drama queen) because he had let down the Raw Deal community. And then the manager from Southampton resigned because he saw the emergency change as a slur upon the southern players. Why wasn't anyone consulted? Why wasn't it put in Southampton? The fact that the Teams event later in the year has been rescheduled to Reading/Southampton (hardly twinned cities..) and another one is in Cardiff (a similarly deemed 'southern' venue) is apparently null and void.
Whether he is right or not, the entire thing has embroiled a number of people in long and heated conversations. Entire plans and counter plans have been talked about. Conspiracy theories, claims, rebuttals - oh for fucks sake guys, it's just a bloody card game! Stop being so bloody damned melodramatic. Nobody actually gives a flying fuck whether you resign or not, where the venue for a tournament is, or whether a group of self-appointed organisers are, or are not, consulted.
And this is the sort of small minded shennanagins that I have been living with for the last four years. Everyone double guessing everyone else about their ways of doing things, what the real meaning is behind what they are saying - it's really quite pathetic. Hell, the new Commissioner was asking me what sort of things he should and should not say to the creator of the game in order to curry favour with him because said creator is notoriously ... difficult! Duplicity, double talk and drama. Hell, Vince McMahon should really just hire these guys to write Smackdown! and it would be better.
Now, this is rather similar to the situation I had with the Dungeoneers. A lot of people getting very hot under the collar about the stupidest of minor things in a computer game. The mind boggles, I know...but the atmosphere was such that I really just found it easier not to be there. So I posted up a note on our site saying that I would relieve myself of the bankers duties in the guild.
So what do I get? A mail from the guildmaster - a guy I have known for years - 'hoping that we can still be friends..'. I mean, what in the blue fucking hell of shite made him think that because I didn't want to be an active part of his guild, it meant that we wouldn't be able to be friends! The week beforehand he was suggesting that his son and my daughters should spend some time together during the holidays. It's madness - utter utter madness.
To be honest, I'm glad I'm out of it. It's hard - I still have a lot of attachment to these things - especially the Raw Deal 'scene' - and when things are nasty, they hurt. These people are my friends. However, there are so many more important things in life. Whether it is the care and upbringing of family and children, participating in other socially valuable activities or simply appreciating that there are people in this world that don't know if they will be alive tomorrow - and we argue about what voice comms server we use?
My shining light through this is my roleplaying group. We missed one player last week, so we sat around and chatted about...stuff. And the conversation became, at times, 'heated' - but in the way that people who are totally assured of their actions in the presence of their friends can be. No-one taking umbrage at disagreements, no-one leaving the gaming group because of a difference of opinion. All people, I believe, who have some degree of grasp on their life's priorities. Sanity, amidst the madness.
I think I shall steer towards the sanity
Neil
Friday, April 07, 2006
Bored : Angry : Excited : Musing
(Special thanks to Gwen Stefani for the title inspiration...amongst other things..)
Bored: Oh God, am I bored with World of Warcraft. It's a bit more than that, but essentially I am bored to tears with the game and the gameplay. I'm not going to preach like I have had some road to Damascus style epihpany and try to persuade everyone else to be equally bored with it, but I am going to have a little rant. Before my latest sojourn to the USA, I started playing EVE-Online with the 14 day trial. It was good. But not good enough apparently. I got to the part where you really do have to team up with someone else and well...I just couldn't be bothered to even start thinking about it. The game sat on my laptop for a while, whilst I was away. I had plans of playing it for fun when in the states but never got around to it and then when I returned my 14 days had ran out and I had the choice - renew for cash or not. I chose not. Why? Because I realised that rather than being a great new game it was an average new game which was acting as an attention placebo in the run-up to Wrestlemania. So what to do? I know, I will download the WoW patch and see what I can do there? Patch downloaded and one scant session later I was resplendent in the three pieces of Feralheart armour I could get relatively easily and ... well, that was it. From thereonin it would be more runs at previous dungeons (not wholly unacceptable) and raiding (yawn) - if my feral druid can surpass the newly arisen Class Spec Nazi Syndrome. Essentially....not a lot to do, really. Bored. Of course, I could do stuff with my guildies ... which leads me nicely onto
Angry : Oh lets not beat around the bush here - fucking furious. As I have illustrated in these messages for the last few months, our guild, the Dungeoneers, has been growing at a considerable rate. The problem is that where once is was a slow and steady growth, we recently underwent a merger and to all intents and purposes I really feel it has been a failure - and that was hammered home yesterday when the guildmaster of the guild that we merged with said this:
"When we moved to Dung we moved with the sole purpose of being able to do bigger and better things ie ZG and MC etc(we also believed that was what Dung wanted to do). "
Nothing about sharing our ethos on the game then? Nothing about being laid back gamers? Apparently not because ever since Day One of the merger we (being the old Dungs) have been put under intense pressure by these newcomers to change almost every single aspect of the way that we play. DKP systems, raid management systems, class quotas, mandatory voice comms and an absolute emphasis on raiding over having fun. Indeed, one of the more vocal ex-members said this...
"anyway as soon i can relog ill left the guild... today i've killed: Hakkar, Razorgore, Vaelastrasz and Onyxia...but yea..you can call me moaner, whiner or whatever you want but still at least im doing something else than sunken temple..."
And this really hit home - the guy is measuring some sort of success by hitting the correct buttons in the correct order to get the correct response from a series of pixels on a computer screen. Somehow there is a degree of increased self-worth in this? Somehow you become a better person by having different coloured markings on the 'equipment' your 'character' has on a screen? That's fun? I remember when fun was jumping into lava pools, making last stands against what felt like dozens of gorillas, hunting down elite giants when we really shouldn't have been able to and fighting a dragon for the first time - and then laughing about it all down the pub.
And then it hit home to me - the difference between now and then is that when I started playing it was great because I could chat to my mates and play with them in a non-roleplaying, non-pub situation. Now, I barely know who I am talking to, which country they come from or even their real names. Sure, there are some of the guys that are friends, but many of them are just ciphers on a screen. The intimacy has been lost and thus, much of the charm of the game has passed. And that annoys me because of the niaivete of us all in thinking that we could grow like that and continue, that we could buck the system for too long. Ah bollocks.
Excited : Of course, with every cloud comes a silver lining. I have been released from the shackles of the Raw Deal World (by and large) and it feels great. The World Championships were a personal highlight for me and I had an amazing time. I also regained a lot of my love for Raw Deal. So, I hear you ask, what? Well, this has coincided with my friends showing interest in the game again and a local guy becoming a manager in Middlesborough. Thats all very very cool indeed. It means that I can play casually with my mates and still have a possible competitive outlet if needed. Hell, even my interactions with the online playing community have been better mannered as well. Its good - it's reminded me about my love for the CCG 'scene' and how it is about meeting friends and having fun. c.f. my comments regarding WoW....
Musing : P&P has hit the terrible wall of cancellations. Happens every so often with our games - a prolonged period of missed games due to any number of obscure reasons. It better survive, as I have many many plans that I jotted down on the train to London. An entire rebellion backstory to unleash and the secret behind the Confed gene harvesting as well. Damned players and their damned lives...
One other thing that has happened is that I have had a serious yearning to write again. Oh strange and bizarre muses, how you fuck with my head!
Neil
Bored: Oh God, am I bored with World of Warcraft. It's a bit more than that, but essentially I am bored to tears with the game and the gameplay. I'm not going to preach like I have had some road to Damascus style epihpany and try to persuade everyone else to be equally bored with it, but I am going to have a little rant. Before my latest sojourn to the USA, I started playing EVE-Online with the 14 day trial. It was good. But not good enough apparently. I got to the part where you really do have to team up with someone else and well...I just couldn't be bothered to even start thinking about it. The game sat on my laptop for a while, whilst I was away. I had plans of playing it for fun when in the states but never got around to it and then when I returned my 14 days had ran out and I had the choice - renew for cash or not. I chose not. Why? Because I realised that rather than being a great new game it was an average new game which was acting as an attention placebo in the run-up to Wrestlemania. So what to do? I know, I will download the WoW patch and see what I can do there? Patch downloaded and one scant session later I was resplendent in the three pieces of Feralheart armour I could get relatively easily and ... well, that was it. From thereonin it would be more runs at previous dungeons (not wholly unacceptable) and raiding (yawn) - if my feral druid can surpass the newly arisen Class Spec Nazi Syndrome. Essentially....not a lot to do, really. Bored. Of course, I could do stuff with my guildies ... which leads me nicely onto
Angry : Oh lets not beat around the bush here - fucking furious. As I have illustrated in these messages for the last few months, our guild, the Dungeoneers, has been growing at a considerable rate. The problem is that where once is was a slow and steady growth, we recently underwent a merger and to all intents and purposes I really feel it has been a failure - and that was hammered home yesterday when the guildmaster of the guild that we merged with said this:
"When we moved to Dung we moved with the sole purpose of being able to do bigger and better things ie ZG and MC etc(we also believed that was what Dung wanted to do). "
Nothing about sharing our ethos on the game then? Nothing about being laid back gamers? Apparently not because ever since Day One of the merger we (being the old Dungs) have been put under intense pressure by these newcomers to change almost every single aspect of the way that we play. DKP systems, raid management systems, class quotas, mandatory voice comms and an absolute emphasis on raiding over having fun. Indeed, one of the more vocal ex-members said this...
"anyway as soon i can relog ill left the guild... today i've killed: Hakkar, Razorgore, Vaelastrasz and Onyxia...but yea..you can call me moaner, whiner or whatever you want but still at least im doing something else than sunken temple..."
And this really hit home - the guy is measuring some sort of success by hitting the correct buttons in the correct order to get the correct response from a series of pixels on a computer screen. Somehow there is a degree of increased self-worth in this? Somehow you become a better person by having different coloured markings on the 'equipment' your 'character' has on a screen? That's fun? I remember when fun was jumping into lava pools, making last stands against what felt like dozens of gorillas, hunting down elite giants when we really shouldn't have been able to and fighting a dragon for the first time - and then laughing about it all down the pub.
And then it hit home to me - the difference between now and then is that when I started playing it was great because I could chat to my mates and play with them in a non-roleplaying, non-pub situation. Now, I barely know who I am talking to, which country they come from or even their real names. Sure, there are some of the guys that are friends, but many of them are just ciphers on a screen. The intimacy has been lost and thus, much of the charm of the game has passed. And that annoys me because of the niaivete of us all in thinking that we could grow like that and continue, that we could buck the system for too long. Ah bollocks.
Excited : Of course, with every cloud comes a silver lining. I have been released from the shackles of the Raw Deal World (by and large) and it feels great. The World Championships were a personal highlight for me and I had an amazing time. I also regained a lot of my love for Raw Deal. So, I hear you ask, what? Well, this has coincided with my friends showing interest in the game again and a local guy becoming a manager in Middlesborough. Thats all very very cool indeed. It means that I can play casually with my mates and still have a possible competitive outlet if needed. Hell, even my interactions with the online playing community have been better mannered as well. Its good - it's reminded me about my love for the CCG 'scene' and how it is about meeting friends and having fun. c.f. my comments regarding WoW....
Musing : P&P has hit the terrible wall of cancellations. Happens every so often with our games - a prolonged period of missed games due to any number of obscure reasons. It better survive, as I have many many plans that I jotted down on the train to London. An entire rebellion backstory to unleash and the secret behind the Confed gene harvesting as well. Damned players and their damned lives...
One other thing that has happened is that I have had a serious yearning to write again. Oh strange and bizarre muses, how you fuck with my head!
Neil
Saturday, March 25, 2006
My name is Neil...and I'm a Switcher
Multiple news on multiple fronts today. It seems like my mighty state of flux is well, fluxing.
Bad news on the roleplaying front with another session cancelled due to an unforseen boating trip (?!) by Captain Amarr. I did consider the prospect of doing a 3-on-1 fill in session (A Day in the Life of Tanner) but in the end I decided not. This would be the third rewrite of the 'second act' of the game and in every rewrite it drifts further away from the dramatic intensity that I planned in the missing session. Sometimes better not to game than to game badly. Still, it means I get to go and see 'V for Vendetta' which has to be a good thing. I had a great idea regarding the 'beings from the void' big bads for PnP and then realised that (a) they were the same big bads that have been in my Crescent Sea and Buffy campaigns (ouch) and (b) it is almost the exact same concept as in Peter Hamiltons 'The Neutrino Alchemist' or whatever it is called. Back to the drawing board.
A few days till I head off to Chicago. Signs coming from Comic Images seem to indicate that they have finally realised that I am actually going at the end of April and they seem to be tying matters up at their end. Good. However, my own urges to build decks has strangely kicked into being. Which is strange because I haven't done it for so long. It's almost as if, because the pressure is off to be anything other than a player, it's suddenly easier. Now, this could be a sense of being demob happy. It could be a general heightening of my CCG senses in preperation for Chicago and attending the World Championships, or it could be genuine. Whatever, I will be throwing together a fun old-fashioned Billy Gunn deck for laughs to take with me. And maybe a Shelton Benjamin....and maybe RTC
Another hobby dividend that has raised it's ugly head is an urge to write some fanfic....I'm trying to ignore it to see whether it will go away.
Which leads me to my switching!
I downloaded the free copy of EVE-Online and took up the no-strings attached 14-day free trial. Its a bizarre game and a very disorientating experience. Take WoW - I know just about everything that I need to know about WoW. EVE? I know JACK SHIT. I am discovering different aspects of the game more through trial and error rather than any great plan. It's intriguing. The game itself seems rather mundane at the moment and is a great example of my 'time is MMORPGs greatest currency' theory. However, I assume that like in WoW the better stuff comes later on. I did my first 'mini-instance' yesterday - clearing out a hollowed asteroid inhabited by a disgruntled employee and his two drones. I discovered that my wee little mining frigate didn't have enough firepower to bash through their shields so I went back to the fitting yard, dropped the mining laser into the hold and fitted another carbine. Ahhh much better! Now I have a specified mining ship (2 mining lasers, shield regen, mining scanner and two extended holds) and a dedicated hunting ship, in development.
Is EVE the game for me? Jury is still amassing evidence. Currently compared to my WoW experience it is far less stressful. However it can be a little ... dull, and I suspect that the Corporations make it a little like work. I shall see how my 14-days pan out.
And speaking of WoW...well, I floated the idea of not being an officer anymore with the rest of the founders and they didn't seem to surprised...which is a good thing. To be brutally honest, the guild is almost unrecognisable from the entity that it was before - so many new faces, so little camraderie within the ranks, so many new relationships to be forged. The entire aspect of the content that is open to me now is endgame raiding and dungeon grinding which, whilst not unappealing, does not sit well with my ability to commit time. Patch 1.10 ftw, it would appear.
And there we have it. Lots of flip-flopping on the hobby front. Oh, and on a great note, Exalted V2 came out this week and I resisted buying it.
Neil
Bad news on the roleplaying front with another session cancelled due to an unforseen boating trip (?!) by Captain Amarr. I did consider the prospect of doing a 3-on-1 fill in session (A Day in the Life of Tanner) but in the end I decided not. This would be the third rewrite of the 'second act' of the game and in every rewrite it drifts further away from the dramatic intensity that I planned in the missing session. Sometimes better not to game than to game badly. Still, it means I get to go and see 'V for Vendetta' which has to be a good thing. I had a great idea regarding the 'beings from the void' big bads for PnP and then realised that (a) they were the same big bads that have been in my Crescent Sea and Buffy campaigns (ouch) and (b) it is almost the exact same concept as in Peter Hamiltons 'The Neutrino Alchemist' or whatever it is called. Back to the drawing board.
A few days till I head off to Chicago. Signs coming from Comic Images seem to indicate that they have finally realised that I am actually going at the end of April and they seem to be tying matters up at their end. Good. However, my own urges to build decks has strangely kicked into being. Which is strange because I haven't done it for so long. It's almost as if, because the pressure is off to be anything other than a player, it's suddenly easier. Now, this could be a sense of being demob happy. It could be a general heightening of my CCG senses in preperation for Chicago and attending the World Championships, or it could be genuine. Whatever, I will be throwing together a fun old-fashioned Billy Gunn deck for laughs to take with me. And maybe a Shelton Benjamin....and maybe RTC
Another hobby dividend that has raised it's ugly head is an urge to write some fanfic....I'm trying to ignore it to see whether it will go away.
Which leads me to my switching!
I downloaded the free copy of EVE-Online and took up the no-strings attached 14-day free trial. Its a bizarre game and a very disorientating experience. Take WoW - I know just about everything that I need to know about WoW. EVE? I know JACK SHIT. I am discovering different aspects of the game more through trial and error rather than any great plan. It's intriguing. The game itself seems rather mundane at the moment and is a great example of my 'time is MMORPGs greatest currency' theory. However, I assume that like in WoW the better stuff comes later on. I did my first 'mini-instance' yesterday - clearing out a hollowed asteroid inhabited by a disgruntled employee and his two drones. I discovered that my wee little mining frigate didn't have enough firepower to bash through their shields so I went back to the fitting yard, dropped the mining laser into the hold and fitted another carbine. Ahhh much better! Now I have a specified mining ship (2 mining lasers, shield regen, mining scanner and two extended holds) and a dedicated hunting ship, in development.
Is EVE the game for me? Jury is still amassing evidence. Currently compared to my WoW experience it is far less stressful. However it can be a little ... dull, and I suspect that the Corporations make it a little like work. I shall see how my 14-days pan out.
And speaking of WoW...well, I floated the idea of not being an officer anymore with the rest of the founders and they didn't seem to surprised...which is a good thing. To be brutally honest, the guild is almost unrecognisable from the entity that it was before - so many new faces, so little camraderie within the ranks, so many new relationships to be forged. The entire aspect of the content that is open to me now is endgame raiding and dungeon grinding which, whilst not unappealing, does not sit well with my ability to commit time. Patch 1.10 ftw, it would appear.
And there we have it. Lots of flip-flopping on the hobby front. Oh, and on a great note, Exalted V2 came out this week and I resisted buying it.
Neil
Monday, March 20, 2006
End of Phase One: The New Attitude
Well, avid readers of Bottom of the Glass. Phase One is complete.
When I started this blog, the mission was to clear off some of the deadwood from my life and establish a new routine that helped me enjoy the hobbies that were left rather than be smothered under a never-ending burden.
Roleplaying has emerged as the winner in this little pseudo-life laundry. What was the old nostalgic favourite has developed into the one success story and is likely to for some time. Pulsars and Privateers has successfully been bedded in and now the challenge is to fulfil the potential for the game and make it 'My Best Ever Roleplaying Campaign'.
Collectible Card games have been the Sunderland AFC of the event, relegated to 'former hobby' status. And with them goes a lot of admin and posting and website work. Indeed, now having my nights free is totally viable come the end of April.
Fanfiction remains a low priority possibility. Thats all that can be said.
Comics, Wresting, Cooking - all cool
Now Warcraft? Thats another question all together. I am increasingly becoming tired with the continuing hearts and minds battle with our guild regarding raiding and raid culture. I want to stick with the guild, and I want to play the game but ... and this has taken me a while to understand - I don't actually CARE whether we use a DKP system or a GEM events system or which sort of voice chat we use or who goes on what raid or blah blah blah. Why should I care? Why ME?
And indeed, this is increasingly becoming my attitude. The best time of my day is the ten minutes I have in the morning when the kids jump onto the bed and we have our little family hug. No-one is arguing, no-one is debating, no-one is threatening to leave anyone. All that happens is that me and my girls have a cuddle and a chat about the day to come. Its so pleasant it's almost addictive!
For the last God only knows how many years I have acted as a co-ordinator/ community leader/ focus point for a number of ventures and adventures. My question now - the real Phase Two of this little voyage of discovery is this:
If I can divest myself of all of my CCG commitments and my holdiays to the USA (and this year, probably GenCon as well) because it was making me feel ill, stressed and claustrophic, is it possible for me to do the same to Warcraft? Could Gorthaal be in the Dungeoneers and not be an officer? Would I be able to have that much detachment?
Similarly, can I take the bones of the P&P campaign and make them rise into something that is truly special. I can feel it's there but it just needs to be taken that little bit further. I'm not sure how, but I'm looking forward to finding out!
Now that? Thats going to make for a very very interesting Phase Two.
When I started this blog, the mission was to clear off some of the deadwood from my life and establish a new routine that helped me enjoy the hobbies that were left rather than be smothered under a never-ending burden.
Roleplaying has emerged as the winner in this little pseudo-life laundry. What was the old nostalgic favourite has developed into the one success story and is likely to for some time. Pulsars and Privateers has successfully been bedded in and now the challenge is to fulfil the potential for the game and make it 'My Best Ever Roleplaying Campaign'.
Collectible Card games have been the Sunderland AFC of the event, relegated to 'former hobby' status. And with them goes a lot of admin and posting and website work. Indeed, now having my nights free is totally viable come the end of April.
Fanfiction remains a low priority possibility. Thats all that can be said.
Comics, Wresting, Cooking - all cool
Now Warcraft? Thats another question all together. I am increasingly becoming tired with the continuing hearts and minds battle with our guild regarding raiding and raid culture. I want to stick with the guild, and I want to play the game but ... and this has taken me a while to understand - I don't actually CARE whether we use a DKP system or a GEM events system or which sort of voice chat we use or who goes on what raid or blah blah blah. Why should I care? Why ME?
And indeed, this is increasingly becoming my attitude. The best time of my day is the ten minutes I have in the morning when the kids jump onto the bed and we have our little family hug. No-one is arguing, no-one is debating, no-one is threatening to leave anyone. All that happens is that me and my girls have a cuddle and a chat about the day to come. Its so pleasant it's almost addictive!
For the last God only knows how many years I have acted as a co-ordinator/ community leader/ focus point for a number of ventures and adventures. My question now - the real Phase Two of this little voyage of discovery is this:
If I can divest myself of all of my CCG commitments and my holdiays to the USA (and this year, probably GenCon as well) because it was making me feel ill, stressed and claustrophic, is it possible for me to do the same to Warcraft? Could Gorthaal be in the Dungeoneers and not be an officer? Would I be able to have that much detachment?
Similarly, can I take the bones of the P&P campaign and make them rise into something that is truly special. I can feel it's there but it just needs to be taken that little bit further. I'm not sure how, but I'm looking forward to finding out!
Now that? Thats going to make for a very very interesting Phase Two.
The Last Train has left for TransCentral
And so, my tenure as Raw Deal UK Commissioner comes to an end. Not with a flash or a bang but with a big group hug with the guys and a small lump in my throat. It's rare that I leave something and it's even rarer that I abandon a hobby completely. However, it would appear that the competitive collectible card scene has seen the last of 'vodkashok'
It's a hard decision though - and one that I might well address again later. I played for the first time in ages on Sunday and it took me a while to get back into the swing of it...and then I remembered that I really REALLY enjoy playing that game. It was mesmerising - I played a game against the UK#1 Rob Maslen in the style of some of our older clashes - two defensive, recursive decks, probing for an opening. It was a lot of fun and it reminded me of the skills needed to play the game. Hell, once again Rob and I drew quite a crowd as 'the masters of recursion' plied their trade. He won, but I didn't care.
So why stop playing? Well, no matter how much I enjoy it, I still have the time issue. And now that the free-card gravy train is drying up, a money issue raises it's head as well. Added to that, I have always been a little skeptical of the people who retire from this game, only to make a short-lived 'comeback'. Not only does it seem like a rather cynical way of getting some free beers from good friends, but it also makes a mockery of the heartfelt thanks and gifts that were given on your retirement.
Whilst I have settled myself on my retirement, there is a glimmer of a possibility that I might flop cards again yet.
There is a Warcraft CCG coming after all.
N.
It's a hard decision though - and one that I might well address again later. I played for the first time in ages on Sunday and it took me a while to get back into the swing of it...and then I remembered that I really REALLY enjoy playing that game. It was mesmerising - I played a game against the UK#1 Rob Maslen in the style of some of our older clashes - two defensive, recursive decks, probing for an opening. It was a lot of fun and it reminded me of the skills needed to play the game. Hell, once again Rob and I drew quite a crowd as 'the masters of recursion' plied their trade. He won, but I didn't care.
So why stop playing? Well, no matter how much I enjoy it, I still have the time issue. And now that the free-card gravy train is drying up, a money issue raises it's head as well. Added to that, I have always been a little skeptical of the people who retire from this game, only to make a short-lived 'comeback'. Not only does it seem like a rather cynical way of getting some free beers from good friends, but it also makes a mockery of the heartfelt thanks and gifts that were given on your retirement.
Whilst I have settled myself on my retirement, there is a glimmer of a possibility that I might flop cards again yet.
There is a Warcraft CCG coming after all.
N.
Monday, March 06, 2006
Breaking Up Is Hard to Do
Well, I have done it - I have gone public with the knowledge that I have handed in my notice with Comic Images.
It's a strange feeling. No-one will care two hoots about me no longer being a playtester and neither will I. I was never a great playtester - more there for the sense-checking of the product and the names and the package as a whole than for the minutae of the cards themselves. It was a privilege, a lucrative privilege.
Being UK Commissioner was the honour. Being the 'leader' of a tight community like the UK RD community is always going to be fulfilling but it is also draining. There is a load of stuff that needs to be done in the background - rankings to be compiled, tournament packs to be sent out, payments to be tracked and made, emails to be responded to and questions to be answered. Your year becomes measured by PPV tournaments and their planning. Even when you have them planned a full year ahead, they still always seemed to be last minute affairs. Will I miss being UK Commish? To be honest, no, I don't think I will. It has been fantastic fun, but terribly time consuming and enveloping. In two weeks time I hand it all over to another player and it ends...what a relief.
The role of being webmaster? Well, that was the power. It placed me as near to the centre of the game as possible, without being an actual employee of the company. I got to know a load of things well in advance of anyone else and indeed, the dessemination of information about the game was pretty much molded around my timetable. Even if I say so myself it felt like being a bit of a celebrity.
However, in the end, even that becomes a bind. Updates become a chore sandwiched between other more pleasurable activities. The will to do any form of clean-up or redesign becomes less and less - and thats not a good thing. I like to think of myself as a pretty conscientious person but when that happens you have to start thinking about cutting both your losses and the companies.
Inevitably, it is not that easy - CI want me to do one final redesign before I go and to radically prune the site. The redesign is done and I am pretty pleased. Tonight I will start the task of populating the new site with old information, culled from the 850+ pages on the current site. It's an eerie task. I know for a fact that if *I* was the incoming new webmaster, the first thing I would do is redesign the site to my own liking and skills. I would not want someone elses artwork and design being attributed to me. Similarly, site design and content management can be quite idiosyncratic and some people might suggest that my methods are incorrect (they are certainly old fashioned). It seems like a wasted last hurrah.
I have the suspicion, somehow, that I will have a number of these 'one last job' requests and that the powers that be at CI might not be taking my departure with the seriousness that it deserves. Or maybe I am just being guilty of unreasonable arrogance.
Either way, I will be seeing some of them in Chicago in a couple of weeks time, which should be a very interesting conversation.
Neil
It's a strange feeling. No-one will care two hoots about me no longer being a playtester and neither will I. I was never a great playtester - more there for the sense-checking of the product and the names and the package as a whole than for the minutae of the cards themselves. It was a privilege, a lucrative privilege.
Being UK Commissioner was the honour. Being the 'leader' of a tight community like the UK RD community is always going to be fulfilling but it is also draining. There is a load of stuff that needs to be done in the background - rankings to be compiled, tournament packs to be sent out, payments to be tracked and made, emails to be responded to and questions to be answered. Your year becomes measured by PPV tournaments and their planning. Even when you have them planned a full year ahead, they still always seemed to be last minute affairs. Will I miss being UK Commish? To be honest, no, I don't think I will. It has been fantastic fun, but terribly time consuming and enveloping. In two weeks time I hand it all over to another player and it ends...what a relief.
The role of being webmaster? Well, that was the power. It placed me as near to the centre of the game as possible, without being an actual employee of the company. I got to know a load of things well in advance of anyone else and indeed, the dessemination of information about the game was pretty much molded around my timetable. Even if I say so myself it felt like being a bit of a celebrity.
However, in the end, even that becomes a bind. Updates become a chore sandwiched between other more pleasurable activities. The will to do any form of clean-up or redesign becomes less and less - and thats not a good thing. I like to think of myself as a pretty conscientious person but when that happens you have to start thinking about cutting both your losses and the companies.
Inevitably, it is not that easy - CI want me to do one final redesign before I go and to radically prune the site. The redesign is done and I am pretty pleased. Tonight I will start the task of populating the new site with old information, culled from the 850+ pages on the current site. It's an eerie task. I know for a fact that if *I* was the incoming new webmaster, the first thing I would do is redesign the site to my own liking and skills. I would not want someone elses artwork and design being attributed to me. Similarly, site design and content management can be quite idiosyncratic and some people might suggest that my methods are incorrect (they are certainly old fashioned). It seems like a wasted last hurrah.
I have the suspicion, somehow, that I will have a number of these 'one last job' requests and that the powers that be at CI might not be taking my departure with the seriousness that it deserves. Or maybe I am just being guilty of unreasonable arrogance.
Either way, I will be seeing some of them in Chicago in a couple of weeks time, which should be a very interesting conversation.
Neil
Tuesday, November 29, 2005
UPDATE: Rediscovered my smile...
Well, it was the last Pay Per View Raw Deal event of the year this weekend. I have really mixed feelings about it. It had a pathetically low turnout of only 18 players BUT we had an amazing time. I even got to play - it felt really good...playing. And winning. And losing. But playing was the major thing.
It also felt like a watershed. We've been riding high this year but some aspects of the game have been delayed and that has meant that a lot of players have got itchy feet. It felt, for all intents and purposes, like rather than being given a chance to bow out gracefully, it was a chance to re-assess, re-evaluate and rebuild from a new set of reduced foundations. I know that many many of the people who were there were talking about what was happening next year and what sort of things they would like to see in the future. Which was good.
So much so that it has sort of invigorated me towards Raw Deal a little. I've now got a new and realistic timetable in my head about website developments and whats happening there. I have ideas for new decks and how I want to manage the balance between playing and organising. I think that any realistic plans for me to resign en masse from my positions has been put on a definite hold for now.
Which is good, because during the weekend there were at least a dozen times when I could have told everyone I was resigning and didn't for some reason. Act in haste, repent at leisure maybe?
More, inevitably, later
Neil
It also felt like a watershed. We've been riding high this year but some aspects of the game have been delayed and that has meant that a lot of players have got itchy feet. It felt, for all intents and purposes, like rather than being given a chance to bow out gracefully, it was a chance to re-assess, re-evaluate and rebuild from a new set of reduced foundations. I know that many many of the people who were there were talking about what was happening next year and what sort of things they would like to see in the future. Which was good.
So much so that it has sort of invigorated me towards Raw Deal a little. I've now got a new and realistic timetable in my head about website developments and whats happening there. I have ideas for new decks and how I want to manage the balance between playing and organising. I think that any realistic plans for me to resign en masse from my positions has been put on a definite hold for now.
Which is good, because during the weekend there were at least a dozen times when I could have told everyone I was resigning and didn't for some reason. Act in haste, repent at leisure maybe?
More, inevitably, later
Neil
Monday, November 21, 2005
The Slowest Ten Count in the World
Collectible Card Games.
Since around 1994 they have been a staple part of my entertainment. From Magic: The Gathering and Rage, through Babylon 5 and into Raw Deal, I have collected, played and more importantly organised CCG events for around 10 years now. Thats a long time.
And now I feel that my love affair may be coming to an end. Well, possibly. It could well be that my patience with certain aspects of the hobby has ran out. I don't know.
I started playing Magic. Like most people did at the time when they were getting into CCGs. I attended my first tournament and did ... OK. That was cool. A few more under my belt and I was doing ... OK. Hmm.. And then the organiser left Uni and the void needed to be filled - and I volunteered.
I had a good time running those MtG tournaments. We were small and unsanctioned, but we always managed to have a laugh, dish out decent prizes, cover costs and develop our games. I even won one or two, but never consistently. I remember the day that I stopped wanting to run MtG tournaments - it was the 'North East Championship', a local thing. We did 6 rounds - two Type 1, two Type 2 and two 'Extended' format. It was a lot of fun but at the end of the day not one person in the room said 'Thank you' to me for organising it.
That annoyed me no end. So I stopped and handed the baton onto someone else and let them organise it. My interest in Magic had waned anyway in the light of the new CCG on the block - Babylon 5. B5 was my fave TV series, so it was natural for me to play. It was multiplayer, which was well cool and it was a good game. However, to have tournaments you needed a Ranger. So I volunteered. Eventually I got in contact with other Rangers and we made our own UK 'group' - Black Omega. We had a website (published by me) and a print newsletter (published by me). We ran big tournaments and had printed t-shirts. We became recognised by the parent company and began distributing prize support for the UK, then Ireland and then the Eastern hemisphere of the World. By this time I was Head Ranger in Black Omega. It was fun. It was hard work!
And then the game folded due to WB removing all B5 licences. Dead as a dodo
But the new kid was on the block again...the Raw Deal CCG, based on the (then) WWF product. Great quick brutal card game. We had a manager - and it wasn't me. Indeed, I famously quoted that I would never get involved with the running of this game.
To cut a long story short, that was 4 years ago and this is currently what I do:
(a) I am the UK Commissioner. That means that I appoint new managers, send out Prize Support (which started as a few cards, but now entails cards and posters and DVDs). I organise large tournaments around the country and process rankings to be sent over to the states.
(b) I am Lead Playtester. I get the cards very very early and have to read through them and test them and make sure that they are not 'broken'
(c) I run a UK web forum called Squared Circle which acts as the hub for the UK RD community. It used to be a much bigger website, but that withered on the vine when I became..
(d) The Webmaster of the Official Raw Deal website. And yes, that is potentially as much work as it sounds.
(e) I'm the manager for Newcastle - allowing me to run tournaments of my own in the pub
Played Neil - so much for keeping yourself distant from the organisation of the game!
Now I'm not going to say that this is without it's benefits. As UK Commissioner and Webmaster and Playtester I receive a substantial amount of free product from the parent company. That means that I have not had to buy a card for some years now and I even manage to dole a load out to my friends as well. I get a bonus each year of a working holiday to Wrestlemania, to cover the world championships live on the web. Thats so cool it hurts! I have made a metric TON of new friends in the UK and around the globe and was even honoured by them and awarded the 'UK Raw Deal Personality of the Decade' award recently. No that....thats cool!
So why on Earth would I want to stop doing this?
Thats a very good question - lets take them one by one
(a) Like every commissioner before me, I have come to the conclusion that the job really isn't worth the hassle. Its a large volunteer management and servicing task which takes up a disproprotionate amount of time to the benefits it delivers. It also takes up space in the house and balancing the various financial commitments can be a nightmare. Additionally (and this may just be a personality trait here) it is very much a balls-on-the-line job. Every national PPV event has to be better than the last, or something is very wrong. Its a level of .... unnecessary stress ... that just isnt needed in my life. I guess you also need to be enthusiastic about the game and about building the game and I don't think I am anymore. Don't get me wrong, I love Raw Deal and think that it is a great pastime, but I have been wounded along the way too much for me to be truly passionate about it as I was.
(b) For a number of reasons, my position as a playtester is more a product of me being the webmaster and head judge for the UK rather than for my testing prowess or dedication. There are others that are far better placed to do this job than I am and really, it's only pride and curiosity that keep me here, which is a bad thing.
(c) This could actually be one of the big reasons. I have grown very very very tired of a number of the UK RD community and their attitude to the game. This attitude problem is something that absolutely fascinates me and I will no doubt talk about in the future but needless to say, it revolves around the adage that if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all. The sheer volume of harsh and unfoundned criticism that explodes on my site and others at each and every announcement or posting by a Comic Images employee or games designer is quite frankly beyond the pale. The vocal minority have created a strange bizarro world where everything is deceit and lies, nothing is as it seems and every decision being made is in some way designed to screw everyone over and improve the lot of CI by destroying the game. The business sense doesn't follow there does it? Not a problem because like the Kings New Clothes, all they need to do is keep saying it and it becomes 'fact'. An experiment in subjective reality writ large upon the internet. I'm very very bored with it. Tired and bored.
(d) You fulfil the clients wishes and that makes the project right yeah? When I took over the site and ever since, the #1 wish that Comic Images have expressed is that the site be updated regularly and punctually. They specifically did not want a flashy scipt driven site - they wanted something simple and full. So thats what I have delivered. And the site has remained reasonably stable for three years now. I have not, however, and I now know ways to do things that could really enhance the site. However...and this is the real shame. I cannot be arsed. It takes a pretty huge amount of time to do that and it's a process of concentration that I just don't seem to be able to muster anymore. Too many other distractions it would seem. Now this is MY critique, not theres. They have never asked for the site to be made better (expect for The Bloody Database of Doom) - but if you undertake to do a job, you should do it to the best of your abilities, right? I don't think I can do that anymore and I don't think it's fair on the company to be landed with a lame duck site when they could have something that is really top notch.
(e) Hardly anyone can be arsed to play anymore. Not because they don't want to - just because they find it easier to talk about WoW more!
Lots of compelling reasons to jack it all in yeah? So why haven't I done it?
Well, on one hand, I am not and have never been (in my eyes) a quitter. I should be able to do at least the website side of things better. I really should. But I don't. I really like the people I work with on the game. Some of them are a pain sometimes but most of them are superstars and indeed, my friends. I would miss them. A lot. It would be very strange to think that all I needed to do would be to send one letter and I would never ever see them again. Indeed, I could just remove the links from the sites, and I need never think about all of that stuff again. But I would.
My wish would be that after Christmas I could give them my notice and help get a new webmaster settled into his job and that my last act as Neil The Raw Deal Dude would be to cover the World Championships from Chicago.
I doubt that would happen. I mean, why would anyone want to extend that level of largesse to someone who has just left their company in the lurch.
Gah.
I am undecided what to do with this. Every night I travel home determined to do something RD related and every night I find an excuse to do something else. I'm at a loss. I really am. I know in my heart of hearts that I still want to play sometimes but whether I can throw the rest away or whether my enthusiasm is truly salvage-able, I am foxed.
Neil
Since around 1994 they have been a staple part of my entertainment. From Magic: The Gathering and Rage, through Babylon 5 and into Raw Deal, I have collected, played and more importantly organised CCG events for around 10 years now. Thats a long time.
And now I feel that my love affair may be coming to an end. Well, possibly. It could well be that my patience with certain aspects of the hobby has ran out. I don't know.
I started playing Magic. Like most people did at the time when they were getting into CCGs. I attended my first tournament and did ... OK. That was cool. A few more under my belt and I was doing ... OK. Hmm.. And then the organiser left Uni and the void needed to be filled - and I volunteered.
I had a good time running those MtG tournaments. We were small and unsanctioned, but we always managed to have a laugh, dish out decent prizes, cover costs and develop our games. I even won one or two, but never consistently. I remember the day that I stopped wanting to run MtG tournaments - it was the 'North East Championship', a local thing. We did 6 rounds - two Type 1, two Type 2 and two 'Extended' format. It was a lot of fun but at the end of the day not one person in the room said 'Thank you' to me for organising it.
That annoyed me no end. So I stopped and handed the baton onto someone else and let them organise it. My interest in Magic had waned anyway in the light of the new CCG on the block - Babylon 5. B5 was my fave TV series, so it was natural for me to play. It was multiplayer, which was well cool and it was a good game. However, to have tournaments you needed a Ranger. So I volunteered. Eventually I got in contact with other Rangers and we made our own UK 'group' - Black Omega. We had a website (published by me) and a print newsletter (published by me). We ran big tournaments and had printed t-shirts. We became recognised by the parent company and began distributing prize support for the UK, then Ireland and then the Eastern hemisphere of the World. By this time I was Head Ranger in Black Omega. It was fun. It was hard work!
And then the game folded due to WB removing all B5 licences. Dead as a dodo
But the new kid was on the block again...the Raw Deal CCG, based on the (then) WWF product. Great quick brutal card game. We had a manager - and it wasn't me. Indeed, I famously quoted that I would never get involved with the running of this game.
To cut a long story short, that was 4 years ago and this is currently what I do:
(a) I am the UK Commissioner. That means that I appoint new managers, send out Prize Support (which started as a few cards, but now entails cards and posters and DVDs). I organise large tournaments around the country and process rankings to be sent over to the states.
(b) I am Lead Playtester. I get the cards very very early and have to read through them and test them and make sure that they are not 'broken'
(c) I run a UK web forum called Squared Circle which acts as the hub for the UK RD community. It used to be a much bigger website, but that withered on the vine when I became..
(d) The Webmaster of the Official Raw Deal website. And yes, that is potentially as much work as it sounds.
(e) I'm the manager for Newcastle - allowing me to run tournaments of my own in the pub
Played Neil - so much for keeping yourself distant from the organisation of the game!
Now I'm not going to say that this is without it's benefits. As UK Commissioner and Webmaster and Playtester I receive a substantial amount of free product from the parent company. That means that I have not had to buy a card for some years now and I even manage to dole a load out to my friends as well. I get a bonus each year of a working holiday to Wrestlemania, to cover the world championships live on the web. Thats so cool it hurts! I have made a metric TON of new friends in the UK and around the globe and was even honoured by them and awarded the 'UK Raw Deal Personality of the Decade' award recently. No that....thats cool!
So why on Earth would I want to stop doing this?
Thats a very good question - lets take them one by one
(a) Like every commissioner before me, I have come to the conclusion that the job really isn't worth the hassle. Its a large volunteer management and servicing task which takes up a disproprotionate amount of time to the benefits it delivers. It also takes up space in the house and balancing the various financial commitments can be a nightmare. Additionally (and this may just be a personality trait here) it is very much a balls-on-the-line job. Every national PPV event has to be better than the last, or something is very wrong. Its a level of .... unnecessary stress ... that just isnt needed in my life. I guess you also need to be enthusiastic about the game and about building the game and I don't think I am anymore. Don't get me wrong, I love Raw Deal and think that it is a great pastime, but I have been wounded along the way too much for me to be truly passionate about it as I was.
(b) For a number of reasons, my position as a playtester is more a product of me being the webmaster and head judge for the UK rather than for my testing prowess or dedication. There are others that are far better placed to do this job than I am and really, it's only pride and curiosity that keep me here, which is a bad thing.
(c) This could actually be one of the big reasons. I have grown very very very tired of a number of the UK RD community and their attitude to the game. This attitude problem is something that absolutely fascinates me and I will no doubt talk about in the future but needless to say, it revolves around the adage that if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all. The sheer volume of harsh and unfoundned criticism that explodes on my site and others at each and every announcement or posting by a Comic Images employee or games designer is quite frankly beyond the pale. The vocal minority have created a strange bizarro world where everything is deceit and lies, nothing is as it seems and every decision being made is in some way designed to screw everyone over and improve the lot of CI by destroying the game. The business sense doesn't follow there does it? Not a problem because like the Kings New Clothes, all they need to do is keep saying it and it becomes 'fact'. An experiment in subjective reality writ large upon the internet. I'm very very bored with it. Tired and bored.
(d) You fulfil the clients wishes and that makes the project right yeah? When I took over the site and ever since, the #1 wish that Comic Images have expressed is that the site be updated regularly and punctually. They specifically did not want a flashy scipt driven site - they wanted something simple and full. So thats what I have delivered. And the site has remained reasonably stable for three years now. I have not, however, and I now know ways to do things that could really enhance the site. However...and this is the real shame. I cannot be arsed. It takes a pretty huge amount of time to do that and it's a process of concentration that I just don't seem to be able to muster anymore. Too many other distractions it would seem. Now this is MY critique, not theres. They have never asked for the site to be made better (expect for The Bloody Database of Doom) - but if you undertake to do a job, you should do it to the best of your abilities, right? I don't think I can do that anymore and I don't think it's fair on the company to be landed with a lame duck site when they could have something that is really top notch.
(e) Hardly anyone can be arsed to play anymore. Not because they don't want to - just because they find it easier to talk about WoW more!
Lots of compelling reasons to jack it all in yeah? So why haven't I done it?
Well, on one hand, I am not and have never been (in my eyes) a quitter. I should be able to do at least the website side of things better. I really should. But I don't. I really like the people I work with on the game. Some of them are a pain sometimes but most of them are superstars and indeed, my friends. I would miss them. A lot. It would be very strange to think that all I needed to do would be to send one letter and I would never ever see them again. Indeed, I could just remove the links from the sites, and I need never think about all of that stuff again. But I would.
My wish would be that after Christmas I could give them my notice and help get a new webmaster settled into his job and that my last act as Neil The Raw Deal Dude would be to cover the World Championships from Chicago.
I doubt that would happen. I mean, why would anyone want to extend that level of largesse to someone who has just left their company in the lurch.
Gah.
I am undecided what to do with this. Every night I travel home determined to do something RD related and every night I find an excuse to do something else. I'm at a loss. I really am. I know in my heart of hearts that I still want to play sometimes but whether I can throw the rest away or whether my enthusiasm is truly salvage-able, I am foxed.
Neil
Monday, November 14, 2005
Getting Started
I never ever thought that I would stoop to writing one of these Godforsaken blog things. And I bet thats the way that a 1001 of these damned symptons of a modern age have started. Sad isn't it? And why was I certain? Well...
(a) - I've never been a one for diaries. They always tended to last three days and then disappear as something more exciting came along.
(b) - I've always been very sceptical about the use of blogs and what you can actually say in them. There is a voyeuristic/exhibitionist angle to them thats quite vain really. You want to say things that are deep and personal...and you want people to be able to read them. But what if the things you are talking about are so personal that you don't want SOME people to read them? And what if they do? And if you cannot say what you think then whats the point. Gah!
So, whats the point then?
Well, I think it will be interesting to track a small portion of my life and the way that it is panning out with regard to hobbies and interests and the media and all manner of things. I have the feeling that the next 6 months will be a watershed for me, one way or another. I can feel change coming on - quite radical change. How it will pan out I have no idea.
So where are we starting from?
Well, I have hobbies - a lot of hobbies. More hobbies than you can shake a stick at. Some are lying fallow and others are taking over to obsessive levels maybe. A shakedown is almost certainly in order.
What are these hobbies? Well here goes.
1. World of Warcraft - I play WoW a lot, almost everyday.
2. Reading comics - My name is Neil and I am a team comic addict
3. Writing fanfic - oh please, delude yourself that you still write.
4. Playing the Raw Deal CCG - not just playing it - I'm the official webmaster, the UK commissioner, a playtester and run a UK website!
5. Watching professional wrestling - well, when I can
6. Cooking - I love cooking!
7. Roleplaying - oh God, yes, I nearly forgot. I roleplay too!
I also have a wife and two kids, a full time managerial job, a consultant media job and a few friends websites that I keep an eye on for them.
Busy? Moi?
So, on the hobby front, here is the current state of play
World of Warcraft - very active, borderline obsession if you believe some.
Reading comics - same as it ever was. Buy and read a few every week
Writing fanfic - this really is a delusion. I stopped this ages ago as it was too time consuming
Playing the Raw Deal CCG - haven't flopped a card for a few months, but still very attached to the game. Having a strange relationship at the moment
Watching professional wrestling - well, when I can, which is a sometimes affair.
Cooking - I love cooking but I rarely have the time or the space to do it as I like
Roleplaying - After months of rather silly soul searching we are about to start playing Buffy again. And I am the referee.
(a) - I've never been a one for diaries. They always tended to last three days and then disappear as something more exciting came along.
(b) - I've always been very sceptical about the use of blogs and what you can actually say in them. There is a voyeuristic/exhibitionist angle to them thats quite vain really. You want to say things that are deep and personal...and you want people to be able to read them. But what if the things you are talking about are so personal that you don't want SOME people to read them? And what if they do? And if you cannot say what you think then whats the point. Gah!
So, whats the point then?
Well, I think it will be interesting to track a small portion of my life and the way that it is panning out with regard to hobbies and interests and the media and all manner of things. I have the feeling that the next 6 months will be a watershed for me, one way or another. I can feel change coming on - quite radical change. How it will pan out I have no idea.
So where are we starting from?
Well, I have hobbies - a lot of hobbies. More hobbies than you can shake a stick at. Some are lying fallow and others are taking over to obsessive levels maybe. A shakedown is almost certainly in order.
What are these hobbies? Well here goes.
1. World of Warcraft - I play WoW a lot, almost everyday.
2. Reading comics - My name is Neil and I am a team comic addict
3. Writing fanfic - oh please, delude yourself that you still write.
4. Playing the Raw Deal CCG - not just playing it - I'm the official webmaster, the UK commissioner, a playtester and run a UK website!
5. Watching professional wrestling - well, when I can
6. Cooking - I love cooking!
7. Roleplaying - oh God, yes, I nearly forgot. I roleplay too!
I also have a wife and two kids, a full time managerial job, a consultant media job and a few friends websites that I keep an eye on for them.
Busy? Moi?
So, on the hobby front, here is the current state of play
World of Warcraft - very active, borderline obsession if you believe some.
Reading comics - same as it ever was. Buy and read a few every week
Writing fanfic - this really is a delusion. I stopped this ages ago as it was too time consuming
Playing the Raw Deal CCG - haven't flopped a card for a few months, but still very attached to the game. Having a strange relationship at the moment
Watching professional wrestling - well, when I can, which is a sometimes affair.
Cooking - I love cooking but I rarely have the time or the space to do it as I like
Roleplaying - After months of rather silly soul searching we are about to start playing Buffy again. And I am the referee.
Labels:
Entertainment,
Fan Fiction,
Raw Deal,
Roleplaying,
World of Warcraft
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