Friday, February 23, 2007

Mid Life Crisis of Finally Discovered Self Confidence

Today is a good day. Let me explain...

A while back, I was stood outside my kids school watching the mothers going about the same dull morning routine and I wondered - is this it? The likelihood of humanity existing is so randomly minute that it is hard to believe that it is not for some possible greater purpose - and I find it hard to believe that this greater purpose is discussing Jade Goodie or the number of bonus points you have at Tesco. It then struck me that we allow the mundane nature of life and the pressures of modern living really crush our ability to strive to be better than we are - we are, essentially, trained to be risk averse.

This anti-risk nature permeates everything that we do - including things that simple shouldn't be risks at all. It also makes us underestimate what we are and what we can achieve. What struck me after that was that with a degree in marketing, 20 years gaming experience, really quite decent design skills, web design and management skills and a cohort of some of the most educated, versatile and friendly gamers at my disposal there is no reason on this Earth why I couldn't live the dream and write a roleplaying game. So I have and it is going rather well.

However, the mundanity of life has slipped in again. When people have asked me - 'Are you going to sell this?' my answers have always been very negative. They have always been indirect, evasive and generally no. After all, I couldn't, could I?

Well I had a long chat with a couple of associates last night who work in the student media industry and we were talking about my current quest for new employment. Frankly, they were bemused that I couldn't find a new position and went on to tell me, in no uncertain (and very flattering) terms about my position within the market and reputation and such. Apparently, I deliver. Apparently my ideas are ahead of the curve. Apparently I am quite good at my job.

Which got me thinking.... sometimes the situations that we are in can specifically be a downer on our own potential as much as the world that we live in. I've been seconded to run our Print Shop recently and it has really dumbed down my self-belief by doing very menial work. Looking beyond that 9-5 grind and remembering who you are and what you are capable of is so important.

And the point of this meaningless voyage around my mid-30s career crisis? Well, I'm going to go for it. Yes, I am going to develop Omniverse and maybe some other ideas with an eye to releasing them into the wider market. Yes I am going to do it 'properly'. Yes I am going to bring my full broadside of skills, resources and experiences on it.

Why? Because I bloody well can and the only thing that seperates me from the people that have done it in the past is the belief that it is possible.

wish me luck...



Anonymous said...

Yes, there is not difference between you and a host of other people.

Remember, there isn't such a thing as an RPG industry really, just a couple of big publishers and then a load of people doing it almost in their spare time.

Just don't expect it to replace your day job :)


Vodkashok said...

You don't say?! No. Not anything like that - just a set of realistic objectives and goals.


Anonymous said...

Just thought I would offer a possible helping hand, as a guy I used to work with has gone along this route in the last couple of years and now has a published RPG selling in Travelling Man. I can have a word and find out how he went about it etc if you want? Give me a shout if you want me to, you know how to get in touch (usually by trying to phone Jobber) and all the best with it,

Bob (Snell)